Splash

The first dive of the season. Specifically, the moment in the air, when I am transitioning between ground and water. This is the moment when my heart seems to stop. I had just pulled up to the lake a few minutes earlier leaving only enough time to strip down to my boxers. So at this moment I do not know if the water is freezing or mild. I just ran off the end of the dock and jumped with a sharp inhale of breath.

Now comes the doubt: Are you serious!?

Too late now, I have committed. The best way I can get myself to do it is to just move as fast as I can and outdistance my better judgment. Yes, I expect it to be freezing but I certainly don't want my body thinking about it. If I do I'll just psych myself out. Yes, it's best do just do this quickly.

It's ok to let the doubt come in once I am in the air, nothing I can do about it now.

My fingertips break the surface first, followed by my forearms, passing my elbows and this is when I feel the shock of the temperature now. I shut my eyes and close my mouth. As soon as my head submerges I begin to exhale through my nose. I can feel the bubbles make their way up my body to my toes and the surface.

I take one slow stroke moving my arms to my side, roll on my back, and open my eyes to look at the sky from under the water. I now move to a crouching position and move my arms making an arrow above my head again then kick off the water bringing my arms down to my sides again.

When I break the surface I gasp for air, alive.