"I've got a perfect body but sometimes I forget"

Over spring break, I got glasses. Not a tan. Glasses. YAY!

But you will never see me wearing them. I am led to believe the Doctor who prescribed me them doesn’t even know what he is talking about. So what if I can’t see signs while driving? I’ll get to my destination. And what if my eye is shaped differently (thanks DAD. Your ability to pass on all the great genes is outstanding), that doesn’t mean I have to shape my face differently. Astigmatism is cool to say, not to wear on your face.

Dearest Doctor,

You may be Jewish (shout out to my Jews. Holla at me. Or should I say Challah at me) but that doesn’t mean you are qualified to tell me about what I need to see well. I only backed into my garage door once, O.K. I can see just fine.

I don’t know why I am so reluctant to wear my optical lenses. Franklin liked them. So should I. But what I think my stubbornness comes down to is the fact that under all of the smiles, there is a trace of self-doubt, of looking in the mirror and not liking what one sees…if one can even see it at all.

I tell other people they are perfect just the way they are. But I don’t tell myself that. Even if I did, would I believe it? Now these glasses are just one more reminder of the fact that I’m not perfect.

I wish I could say I love myself more. But I’d be lying if I said that I never had a moment of doubt.

I wonder how long it will take me to realize that I have a perfect body because my eyelashes catch my sweat.

I have been reflecting on so many things lately that inspire me and I wanted to share just a couple with you all...

First, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuAbGJBvIVY

...and, second...

"Dear Emotional Creature:

I believe in you. I believe in your authenticity, your uniqueness, your intensity, your wildness. I love the way you dye your hair purple, or hike up your skirt, or blare your music while you lip-synch every single, memorized lyric. I love your restlessness and your hunger. You possess the energy that, if unleashed, could transform, inspire and heal the world.

Everyone seems to have a certain way they want you to be - your mother, father, teachers, religious leaders, politicians, boyfriends, fashion gurus, celebrities, girlfriends. In reporting my new book, I learned a very disturbing statistic: 74 percent of young women say they are under pressure to please everyone.

I have done a lot of thinking about what it means to please; to be the wish or will of somebody other than yourself. To please the fashion setters, we starve ourselves. To please our parents, we become insane over-achievers. If you are trying to please, how do you take responsibility for your own needs? How do you even know what your own needs are? The act of pleasing makes everything murky. We lose track of ourselves. We stop uttering declaratory sentences. We stop directing our lives. We forget what we know. We make everything OK rather than real.

I have had the good fortune to travel around the world. Everywhere I meet teenage girls and women giggling, laughing as the walk country roads or hang out on city streets. Electric girls. I see how their lives get hijacked, how their opinions and desires get denied and undone. So many of the women I have met are still struggling late into their lives to know their desires, to find their way.

Instead of trying to please, this is a challenge to provoke, to dare, to satisfy your own imagination and appetite. To take responsibility for who you are, to engage. Listen to the voice inside you that might want something different. It's a call to your original self, to move at your own speed, to walk with your step, to wear your color.

When I was your age, I didn't know how to live as an emotional creature. I felt like an alien. I still do a lot of the time. I am older now. I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be OK with being different, with being this alive, this intense. I just don't want you to have to wait that long."
-Eve Ensler

If I've already shared with you the link above, please accept my most sincere apologies. I find it refreshingly glorious each time I watch it. The line that sticks out most to me lately is: each scar marks a story worth telling.

The letter from Eve Ensler is something that I hadn't looked at in almost a year that I pulled out of my archives recently. I keep reading it to people, but it doesn't get old; every, single time I say those words, they give me chills. I, like so many, am on a journey on which I am learning to love myself a little more each and every day. That journey is more commonly known as life. Lately I have been overwhelmed by gratitude that I am in fact not only alive, but living. I can't help but smile when I think of how far I've come in 23 short years and how many more years I have to grow into and learn about and fall in love with myself. Oh, yeah, I guess I'm excited about loving everyone I meet along the way, too. ;)

--mt

Like Honey Licked From Skin

Do you turn yourself on?

We are so concerned with turning others on, that we don’t think about turning ourselves on.

I suppose the more appropriate way of asking this question is do you love yourself? Do you do things for yourself, or for others? Do you buy that shirt because you like it or because you think others will?

I hope the answer is because you like it.

Who cares if other people like it.

Be you.

Screw them.

If I want to wear heels, I’m wearing them because I like them. Not because they are going to elongate my legs and make me look fine.

If you live your life for someone else, than you don’t actually have a life.

I’ve been listening to Make Love All Night Long by T.V. on the Radio a lot recently, because I found it one day on my iTunes (you should go find it too). And the song repeats “I’m gonna turn you on. Watch I’m gonna turn you on.” But I think you should turn yourself on and make love all night long. Translation: love yourself every second of the day, live for you and no one else.

Just turn yourself on and make love all night long.

Im gonna ask you to do it again.

Its the first full day of spring and the first day of the Zodiac. Lets all celebrate the start of this new season with a much needed dance party. There are many bands with wonderful let go dance songs but this one stuck out. ALL CAPS' Summer of 09 is all around a fantastic song lyrically and wicked fun musically but they have that extra something. When deciding what to do for their music video they figured out how to get audience participation. They asked on their YouTube channel for their fans to send in clips of them dancing to the song. The result is a collage of so much passion and letting go by ALL CAPS and their fans. Old and young, male and female. Everybody's gettin down and having a blast.





Summer of ’09

I’ve made so many plans
after what you said last night,
didn’t know what to do with my hands
wanted to ask if this was alright,

and I pretend it’s impulsive
but you already know the truth,
I just want a picture of us
so I can put it on dailybooth,

now I squeeze your hand tight
after everything we did,
I know this is the last night
they’ll ever think of us as kids,
as we drive around and around
trying to escape this town,

I can’t quite find the words
but you listen and get it anyway
’cause who would’ve thought two nerds
would get to have their day too

and I pretend it’s not a big deal
and you don’t make a fuss,
but I almost let out a squeal;
you changed your relationship status,

now I squeeze your hand tight
after everything we did,
I know this is the last night
they’ll ever think of us as kids,
as we drive around and around
trying to escape this town.

weird musings on wednesday.

And when you look in my eyes

Please know my heart is in your hands

It’s nothing that I understand,

But when in your arms you have complete power over me

So be gentle if you please ‘cause

Your hands are in my hair,

But my heart is in your teeth, baby,

And it makes me wanna make you near me always,

Wanna be near you always,

Wanna be near you always.

CAPACITY TO LOVE.

RESILIENCY. FORGIVENESS. HUMANITY.

HUMILITY. LONGING. HOME.

There is love inside me that I do not understand. It is perfect and beautiful and greater than I am. I want to surrender to it, become one with it so together we can set the world on fire.

When our eyes meet, something happens to me. I cannot feel anything but love and utter, absolute awe.

There is someone who makes me me. We said goodbye this weekend for some indefinite amount of time. It sucked, but I am at peace (I guess). I wrote this to him so that I don’t call him or text him or email him because I know I shouldn’t. Right before we said goodbye he told me his favorite and least favorite things about me. His favorite thing: that I am unapologetic. His least favorite thing: that I second-guess myself even when in my heart I know I am right. They go hand in hand and my new goal is to live up to the characteristic unapologetic.

Come with me, let’s surrender to love and set the world on fire.