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Sunday, October 24, 2010

i am.

So I was sitting in a seventh grade language arts class in a tiny, little Catholic school when I happened to glance upwards. Hanging from the ceiling were poems that each student had written, and each line began with “I.” For example, “I wonder…” “I dream…” “I understand…” and “I am…”

And the statements were filled out according to each student in order to describe each developing identity. They were beautiful to me because of their genuine honesty. I wanted to write one right then and there, even if just in my head…

I wonder what my life will look like—what will my babies be like? Who will they grow up to be? Where will we live? What will we do? How will we fill each day? Will we be joyful?

I dream of a world in which human beings take care of one another, reach out towards one another; I dream of a safe place for us to grow together.

I understand that I am only human and that I can only do so much, but I also understand that with my humanity, I hold the responsibility to live my life as a prayer to the spirit of love I feel moving within me, to live in service to the betterment of the world I am a tiny part of.

I am loving. I am thinking. I am trying. I am reflecting and I am learning.

So much of who I am is defined by what I am doing at any given point in my life. The things I fill my life with make me who I am. I am in need of a space to nourish my spirit and the time to do so without feeling guilt for not doing other things I “should” be doing. I am attempting to embrace my authentic spirit. I am working on creating a more loving and positive body image. I am overwhelmed by both the mundane and the extraordinary. I am angry at the world today, but I am filled with hope for a better tomorrow. I am working towards that vision. I am lacking sleep and therefore addicted to caffeine. I am scared that I will never feel fulfilled unless I am driving myself into the ground. I am worried that I don’t take care of myself, and that sometimes, I might even harm myself. I don’t remember the last time I did yoga. I feel more passion to stop sexual violence than practically anything else in the world. I am silly. I laugh all the time. Loudly. I am constantly discovering who I am and learning that I love that person. I am cooking. I am talking. I am dancing. I am becoming me—mt

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