I love you

So I decided for this first blog that I would talk a little bit about myself. My name is Starfish. I decided to choose that name because it is a name that means a lot to me. There is a story that talks about a young boy who is at the beach throwing starfish back into the water that have washed ashore. His father tells him it is no use and that he won't make a difference because there are hundreds of starfish around. So the boy then picks up a starfish, throws it back into the water, and says, "I made a difference for that one." This is what I am all about, going out into the world and making a difference in people's lives. And my way of doing that? Well...that would be with pure, unfiltered, contagious, love.

I love you. And that pretty much sums it up. I love your being, your spirit, your light, and your love, everything about you. And I know that you are good, because you are a human being, and that alone makes you beautiful, gracious, amazing, and glorious. You are glorious. And whatever makes you you, don't ever change that, because I love it. I love what makes you stand alone. And if it's being weird, crazy, a little off, spacey, funny, kind, overjoyed, ecstatic about everything, calm, serene, wild, or emotional, I challange you to embrace it with all your strength and power and love, and be who you truly are. Because I love it, and the world loves having you be you. Here is my embrace of me...

"Traitor to Myself"

I was told to calm down.
Anger
Raw
Emotion

I was told to chill out.
Yelling
Showing
Being

I was told to stop.
Being serious
Being uptight
Being...me

And so I did--

I stopped my teenage
Hormonal seesaw tipping
While pressure pushes the
Mom and the dad and the sisters
And the friends to launch an
Implosion of emotion of my heart
And my mind and my soul.

"I'm just human," I pleaded,
"Just being a teenager, just
Being me." But being me
Wasn't good enough for them.
So I shut the engines off,
I garaged the priceless piece of art,
And I never drove manual again.

I was told I was crazy.
Automatic lefts and rights
And handshakes and bright
White smiles till I was
Blue in the face.

I was told I needed help.
Automatic answers to
Questions from people
Who claimed to know me
Better than I knew myself.

I was told to shut down.
Automatic off switches
Called punches and twitches
And switch blades and red hot
Matches...burning...calming

...calming...

-----------------------------------

They wanted to punish me,
To silence me,
To tame and neuter me,
To cage me
To bind me
To make me never know freedom
If it smacked me in the face.

But I wanted to yell,
And to scream,
And to say I wasn't
Going to be just another
Clown makeup mask
Wearer walking up a
Green and purple storm
Dancing and flashing in the
Streets cause that wasn't me!

I wanted to own my flesh and
Blood!

Because I am emotional.

I am vulnerable.

I am fragile.

I am brave.

I do yell.

I do cry.

I do freak out,
And spaz out,
And totally and utterly
Go crazy.

I am crazy.

And I like it.

Cause my being is a 7-day forecast
In the middle of May. A beauty of nature.
Healthy, crazy, pure.

And I feel so alive.

So don't ever try to change me again.

-Starfish